Blessings
by Chandilicious
Summary: Rachel learns that she's pregnant. But how and by whom is another story. How does Puck react? Will this be the end of their relationship or a way of embracing life's blessings.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Rachel woke up in her bed, wondering how she got there. The last she remembered, she and Noah had gone to the party at Brittany's house. As she lay there thinking, she tried her best to play the evening over again. It was a victory party, they had finally one. After coming in last place at Regionals, last year, the Glee members thought the celebration was long overdue. A couple of the guys brought drinks, and although Rachel never drank, she was flying high over the win that toppled Vocal Adrenaline.

She was pretty fuzzy on most of the night, but she knows one thing, her head is throbbing and she's pretty sure she had never been that thirsty before. After laying for a few minutes her daddy comes in to check on her.

"Hey sweetheart, I was just making sure you were up! It's not like you to sleep so late! Are you feeling okay?" he asks.

"What time is it?" She asks quietly in return.

"It's after 4 in the afternoon."

"I'm so sorry daddy, I've just got a headache, and have been just trying to get rid of it. I know you are leaving and was planning to get up and make you guys breakfast this morning."

"It's okay sweetie. Your dad and I were just getting ready to leave to go to the play and dinner, and wanted to say goodbye. But if you aren't feeling well, perhaps we can stay home."

"No, daddy, don't be silly" she replies quickly. "It's just a headache, I'll be fine. You and dad have been looking forward to tonight for a while."

"You are so sweet. Okay, well I've left some money for dinner downstairs. I love you angel, and we'll be home soon. Take care." and with that, her daddy leans down to kiss her forehead and left.

She heard her dad come in and walk over to say goodbye. He brushed the hair back from her face and gave her a kiss. "Eli says that you aren't feeling well. Do you need anything before we leave?"

Rachel looked up to him with a small smile, "no, dad, I'm fine really. Go, have fun. I'll see you soon. I love you!"

Her dad walked out of her room, but she sat on her bed waiting til she heard them drive away. Once they did, she slowly got up and walked to her bathroom. She sat down on the side of the tub trying to keep the room from spinning. She realized she must have had more to drink than she thought.

After a few minutes, she was finally able to focus. She climbed into the shower, the hot water worked wonders on her head. Eventually, she knew she had to get out, but for now, she decided to allow the hot water to soothe her.

After she got out, she got dressed and checked her cell. There were several messages. A few from Noah. Smiling, she checked the voice mail.

"Hey babe, it's me. Just calling to check on you. I don't think I've ever seen you drink that much before. Okay, well when you get up give me a call." She goes to the next message.

"Hey babe, it's me again, it's after 1. Are you still asleep? Call me!"

"Rachel, I'm really starting to worry, it's after 3 and you still haven't called me back. I want to make sure you are okay. I should have never let you drink that much...I just figured it would help you get over regionals. Please call me!" She had to smile, for all that he pretended to be hard, Noah was such a teddy bear. She knew that she couldn't keep him waiting, so rather than listen to the last 3 messages, she dialed his number.

"Babe? Are you okay?" she smiled at the worry in his voice.

"I'm okay, Noah. I guess I was just really tired."

"I was nervous about letting you go home with Mike last night, but seeing as how he drank less than both of us, I figured it was the safest thing to do."

"Oh, so that's how I got here." was her only reply.

"What?" he sounded confused.

"I'm sorry, it's just that when I woke up this afternoon, I had no idea how I got home last night. I woke up in bed, and had no idea how I got there. That's never happened to me before."

"Babe, I should have never let you have that much to drink. I'm sorry. I had more than usual myself, and I shouldn't have. I won't let it happen again." his guilt was too much for her.

"Noah, I am not a baby. I chose to drink, it's not your fault. Lets just let it go. Do you feel like coming to see me tonight? My dads are out for the evening. We could get some pizza and watch a movie! I'm not up to much more than that."

"Sure, sounds good. I just have to get over to Brit's and get my truck. Finn dropped me off last night. Let me jump in the shower and I'll be over. See you soon!" and with that he hung up.

To Be Continued...


	2. Chapter 2

One can dream about owning Glee, but Ryan Murphy does...lucky, lucky him!

Chapter 2

**6 Weeks Later**

Rachel stood in her mirror, trying to figure out how this happened. She and Noah had never even been together that way. She knows that she is no Mother Mary, but how in the world could she be pregnant? She had been standing there for the better part of an hour before it dawned on her. What about the night of the party? She didn't even remember how she got home, so what else happened that night that she doesn't remember?

Could it be possible that she was with Noah that night? Or worse, someone else? How did she get herself into this situation. Right then and there, she swore off alcohol forever. It figures, the first time she tries the stuff and something like this happens. A horrible thought jumps into her head. How am I going to tell Noah? She realizes it's something that she can't hide forever, she's going to have to tell him. But not today. She knows that she can't do it yet, she's not strong enough.

She picks up the phone, and calls the one person whom she knows might be able to help her.

"Hello?" the voice on the other end answers.

"Quinn, it's Rachel. Are, um, are you busy?"

"Not at the moment Rach, what do you need?"

"I, er, I, uh, I need someone to talk to. Can you come over?" she finally gets out as she starts to cry.

"Rachel, are you okay? Never mind, don't answer that. I'll be right over." the blonde quickly hangs up and heads out the door, leaving Rachel cradling her phone and softly crying. A few minutes later, she hears the doorbell. She walks to the door and lets her in.

"Why don't we go sit down on the couch, Rachel. You can tell me anything." Quinn was concerned. She and Rachel barely ever talked, and from past experience, Rachel always had her act together. Sure, she had her heart broken by Jesse, but Finn was there to pick up the pieces. And after that fell apart, she was like a rock.

"What's going on?" She asked as she handed the small brunette a tissue.

"I'm so sorry to have bothered you. I just didn't know who else to call. I'm so scared, I don't know what to do."

"Okay, Rachel, whatever has happened, whatever you need, I am here for you. Don't apologize. Look, I know we haven't had the greatest past, but I like to think that after having gone through the pregnancy and giving up my daughter, has helped me to mature a little." with that, she noticed Rachel suck in a small breath and bite her lip. "Rach, please, let me help you. I want to help you."

"It's just that, um. Well, I've sort of been under the weather lately and I've been so tired. I thought maybe the flu."

"Oh my goodness, you're pregnant!" Quinn stated matter of factly. Although, looking at Rachel's face, she regretted saying it as soon as she did. Rachel's face fell, and the tears were flowing freely.

"Yes" she sobbed. "I took the test yesterday"

"How, when" Quinn stammered, shocked. She had thought that Rachel and Puck were trying to stay away from that, since what happened with her. Rachel continued crying, small sobs wracking her tiny frame.

"I don't know." she answered simply.

"You...don't know?" Quinn was confused. This would have had to have been something huge for Rachel. There is no way she didn't have the moment planned out.

"No. The only thing I can figure is Brittany's party. Noah and I have never..."she couldn't even finish the sentence. Because truth was, she wasn't even sure that they had. She hoped more than anything that that was the case, but she just couldn't remember.

"You did have an awful lot to drink that night."

"I know" Rachel replied flatly.

"Have you told Puck yet?" Quinn asked, which prompted a whole new wall of tears to come crashing down.

"No" she sobbed "I can't. I don't even know..."

"Know what?" Quinn was confused, but didn't want to push her too hard.

"I'm humiliated. How can I tell him that I'm pregnant, when I don't even remember being with him. Don't you think he would have said something about us being together. I know that he drank a lot, but he drinks sometimes. Don't you think he would have remembered?" She gushed.

"What..." Quinn knew that she had to be very delicate "what are you saying? Do you think that someone else is the father?" Quinn knew that the answer could potentially destroy them both. She never really cared for Rachel before, but seeing her broken was enough to break her heart. She knew that Puck would be devastated, and that wasn't something she really wanted to see. But she also didn't want him to go through what she had put Finn through just last year. It was a no win situation. All she knew was, Rachel needed someone to support her, and she would be that someone.

"I don't know who the father is." Rachel replied as her shoulders fell. Quinn didn't think it was possible for the girl to look any smaller, but yet she did. "I don't even know who I was with that night!"

"Oh Rachel" Quinn replied as she reached out to pull her into a hug. "I'm so sorry. I'm here for you. Please know that. For anything. Have you told your dads yet?"

"MY DADS!" Rachel was overwhelmed. How on earth could she tell her dads. She knew it would kill them to see their little girl pregnant, let alone by an unknown father. "How am I going to tell them?"

"Rachel, I'll help you. I'll be here with you when you do." she said as she held the crying girl's hands.

"Thank you Quinn. I don't know what to do next. I mean, I know I have to tell them. But I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know where to start."

"Okay, slow down. First, let's get you an appointment with my OB. He was great. He took great care of me. Then we'll go from there."

"Quinn, I don't know what I would have done, if I had to do this alone. Thank you." And with that, Rachel wiped her tears. She felt a little better. Only a little. She was terrified. There were so many unknowns. How would her dads react? How would THE father react? Who was the father? It was a tidal wave that was crashing down on her, but she took comfort knowing that she had a friend. Someone who had been there, who would help see her through it.

To Be Continued...

Was so surprised by the quick and warm response of story alerts and being favorited! Thanks!


	3. Chapter 3

Once again, I am no Ryan Murphy. If I was, I would be in the show and the object of Noah's affections...

On a side note, this story is not beta-ed, so any mistakes are completely mine!

Enjoy...

Chapter 3

Rachel had decided to follow Quinn's advice, and allowed herself time to wrap her head around this pregnancy before involving anyone else. Besides, she thought, didn't they always say that the first trimester was the most delicate and most susceptible to miscarriage? She didn't want to hurt her dad's by telling them, and then possibly lose the baby. Better they not know at all, just in case. She looked at the date on her cell, just two more weeks and she'd be three months along already.

After having talked to Quinn, she realized her feelings about the baby. As much as the thought of being a mom terrified her, this baby was a part of her. She knew that abortion was not an option, but the thought of giving away a part of her felt so wrong. She lived her life without her mom, not knowing who she was. She doesn't ever want to be the cause of those lonely feelings in anyone else.

"How on Earth am I going to tell them?" She thought of her dads' reactions. It terrified her. But, what worried her more, if that was even possible, was telling Noah. He had been her rock after things went south with Finn. If she would be honest with herself, he had even been her champion with Jesse too. She saw how protective he had been, but she was blinded by the idea of Finn. She didn't want to lose him. Quinn had reminded her of how much Noah wanted to keep Beth. She said that he would be a terrific dad. Rachel held that hope close to her heart, and it was that along with Quinn's support that has kept her going these past weeks since she found out.

Could it be possible that Noah would accept another pregnancy? Perhaps, because of "dodging the bullet" the first time, he would think twice about how he felt about becoming a father so young. On the flip side, she and Noah had had such a good relationship. He was her heart and soul. He encouraged her gently to step down off her self made pedestal and get to know her true self, and the people around her. She has enjoyed so much of her life in the time they had been together. Sure there were still the occasional slushy facials, but the sting wasn't so bad when you had someone like him to look out for you. Would she lose all that? Would she lose him? The thought was almost more than she could bear.

In a moment of truthfulness with herself, she began to wonder what worried her more; telling Noah that she was pregnant and he be upset because he was about to be a father again; or the much more terrifying option, telling Noah that she was pregnant, and he be upset because he isn't the father. She knew that the latter would definitely bring about the end of their relationship, and that thought stole the very breath from her lungs. Why couldn't she remember, after all this time, and as much as she tried, she could not force her memory to recall what happened the night of Brittany's party. She knew in her heart that if it was Noah that she were with that night, he would have said something. The very idea that it was someone else made her skin crawl. It would mean firstly, that she was taken advantage of in the worst way; and secondly, that the love of her life was not the father of her growing child.

"I know what I'll be doing the next couple of weeks" she mused to her reflection in the mirror. "I'm sure that I'll figure out the best way of telling him...at least I hope I can."

Suddenly, she was overwhelmed with another bout of nausea, and rushed to the bathroom. After a few minutes of resting her head on the cool porcelain, she got up and wondered whether that particular bout had more to do with the pregnancy or the thoughts of telling Noah. She shuddered at the thought that that conversation could cause such a strong reaction in her. With great appreciation, she realized that she had been fairly fortunate with the sickness. It wasn't overwhelming and she was able to hide it for the most part. The last thing she needed was to be found out before she was ready.

Her cellphone started ringing disrupting her from her thoughts. "Hello beautiful!" came the warm deep voice that she loved so much.

"Hello Noah!" a flush warmed her cheeks at the sound of his voice.

"I was wondering what you were up to tonight. The fair is in town, and I'd really like to go with you. I've noticed that you are lacking in a gigantic stuffed animal in your room!" he finished with a laugh.

"Very funny, Noah. All of my animals have a memory attached to them." she pouted.

"I know babe. I'm just busting your chops. You know I have to keep you on your toes. So, do you think you are up to it? I have noticed that you haven't looked like you've been feeling 100% lately."

She was overcome with a touch of panic. She really thought she had kept that particular side effect more to herself. "Um, sure. I didn't realize it was all that noticeable. I think I'm just coming down with a bug, or something. I've just been tired. But we can still go, I'll be fine."

"Rach, it's fine, we don't have to. Maybe I'll just head over and we'll get a pizza!" at the thought of the food, she was hit with the desperate need to get to the bathroom again.

"Okay, Noah, I'll see you get here. Love you!" She hung up before he could respond and rushed to the bathroom.

To Be Continued...

Thanks again for all of the favorites and alerts! It makes me feel great. It makes me want to write more!


	4. Chapter 4

Sigh, I only wish I owned Noah Puckerman! 

Still not beta-ed, so I own all of my mistakes... 

**Chapter 4**

"Hey Rach! What's up?" answered Quinn as she picked up the phone.

"Can I come over? I really need to talk." She replied quietly.

"I was just about to head out, can we talk over the phone?"

"Um, well. I guess it can wait. I don't want to hold you up." her shoulders slumped in disappointment.

"Rachel, if you need me, I'm here for you. I hope you know that. I'll head over to you for a while. Hang tight. I'll be there in a bit!" and she hung up!

Rachel smiled. She realized just how blessed she had been these last several weeks. She tried her best to reach out to Quinn last year, when she was in the same position, but it was Quinn. And given her position with the Cheerios, she wasn't hurting for a shoulder to cry on. At no point during the last year did she ever think that her closest friend would be the one person who used to hurt her the most. What a difference this baby has already made in her life, although she realized this is just the tip of the iceberg. A shiver ran down her spine thinking about how it may go.

She jumped when she heard the doorbell. "Hey Quinn" she said as she opened the door. "I am so glad you came. I am freaking out just a little."

"What's wrong?" queried her former tormenter. She really had to stop thinking of her that way. The past was in the past. Today is the present, and it's Quinn who's been here helping her. She shook her head to rid herself of the thoughts.

"Well, I'm officially 12 weeks along today. That means that I should start telling people. That means I have to tell my dads. That means..." she choked on a sob "I have to tell Noah. Quinn, how... I can't... what do I say? How do I even begin to tell them... I'm a mess."

Quinn reflexively reached out to hug her crying friend. "Rachel, it's okay. Go ahead and cry, and when you are done, we'll figure something out." She sat there holding her for what seemed like forever. Finally, Rachel grabbed a tissue and wiped her eyes.

"Thank you. I don't know what I would do without you!" she let out a small laugh. When Quinn looked at her with a confused expression, Rachel explained, "I never thought I'd say those words to you!" To which Quinn laughed out loud.

"I don't guess I did either. But I'm glad I can be here for you. Now, onto your problem. If it helps, I will be here with you when you tell your dads. I will even be with you to tell Puck, if you think that's what you need. You tell me."

"I think that I could truly use your support while I tell my dads. I just don't know how they are going to take it. They've dedicated my whole life to making sure that I have my future mapped out, with the voice lessons and the dance lessons. They've had me on the short list to Juilliard ever since I could walk!" She dropped her head into her hands. "They're going to kill me!"

"Rachel, your dads love you. They will be surprised, they may be a little upset at first, but they love you more than any other fathers I know. You'll be fine."

"What are they going to say when they find out that I don't know who the father is?" she was beginning to fall apart all over again.

"Sweetie, we're going to figure this all out. Don't worry. I think first, you need to decide who you are going to talk to first, Puck or your dads." Quinn was surprised by her own compassion. At what point did she decide that the petite brunette needed to be protected. What's more, when did she decide that she would be the one holding her hand and doing the protecting?

"I guess, it might be better to tell Noah first. Depending on how he handles it, maybe he'll be with me when I tell my dads. At least, I hope that he will." she replied, resigned to the fact that this little bit of news can't be kept to herself.

The girls decided that it would be best for Rachel to tell Puck alone, and if it became necessary, Quinn would be there when she told her dads. They spent a couple of hours deciding the best way to tell him that he may soon be a dad again. It was not a conversation that Rachel wanted to ever have with her boyfriend. It was a conversation that Quinn was glad not to have, but she felt such a sadness within herself for her new friend, for having to.

"Thank you again, Quinn. I'd be lost without you. I'll call you and let you know how it goes."

"You better! Alright, I'll leave you to it." She leaned in to give her a quick hug. Before turning to leave, she added with raw emotion, "Good luck".

Rachel quickly closed the door, and put her forehead on it. She took a deep breath and without thinking any longer, dialed his number.

"Noah, it's me..." she said

"Hey babe. I was just finishing up at..."

"can you please come over. We need to talk." she quickly cut him off.

"uh, yeah, sure. Is everything okay?" his palms began to sweat a little. He knew that he hadn't always been the best boyfriend, but Rachel brought out the best in him. He wracked his brain trying to think of what might have brought this about, but came up empty.

"Please, Noah..." she didn't want to do this over the phone, and she prayed that he wouldn't push any further.

"Sure babe, I'm gonna grab a quick shower, and I'll be over. Give me 20 minutes. I love you!"

"I hope so" she muttered to herself, but replied "I love you too. I'll see you when you get here".

Silently she prayed, "Please God, let him still love me after I tell him. Let him understand.".

To Be Continued...

I promise, I won't keep dragging this on. Things will definitely pick up next chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

I could never express just how much I wished that I owned Glee...

Still not beta-ed, so yeah, if I look like an idiot, I can only blame myself!

**Chapter 5**

Rachel felt as though she were wearing a hole in the carpet, but still she couldn't stop pacing. He would be there any minute. She tried sitting to calm herself, but found herself wringing her hands uncontrollably. Why couldn't he hurry up. Scratch that, she wanted him to take his time. The longer it took, the longer she had to think about what she was going to say. "No", she thought to herself "if I think about my side of the conversation, then I'll think about his." It was no use, no matter which way, she would worry.

A rapid knock at the door brought her back to reality. She took a deep breath. "Here goes" she thought. She opened the door, and her body was instantly warm. She got lost in his eyes, they made her feel so safe, so warm.

"Hello Noah" Rachel slipped her arms around her boyfriend's waist and pulled him for what may be their last hug.

"Hi beautiful." he picked her up to return her embrace. "What's wrong? Your eyes...seem so sad!" His heart began to race. What could be so wrong that the light in her eyes was gone? You'd never know it to see him now, but he was usually a complete jerk to his women. But when he had seen her heart break with Jesse, and then nearly shatter with Finn, he knew that this fragile girl was different for him. He reached out, in a way that was foreign to him. He needed to protect her. He needed to be her hero. As whipped as it made him seem, he desired to be her knight in shining armor, and nothing less.

He didn't know the point in his life that Rachel changed him for good. But he didn't care either. He knew that she did, and that was all that mattered. At that thought, he smiled a little. How did this happen? I'm Puck, I'm not controlled by a woman! Ha, he couldn't even think it without laughing. He would give his life for her, and if that's not controlled, he didn't know what was.

When they started dating, his mother was so full of joy. She never thought that her Noah would ever find a truly nice Jewish girl. Not that he didn't deserve one, but that he would never settle for a nice girl. Once she got to know Rachel, she quickly realized, that Noah wasn't settling at all. He was striving to make himself worthy of her. She had never been so proud. He was a man with Rachel. Not a boy trying to be a grown-up. But someone worthy of being called a man. She was amazed at the transformation in him. But she also noticed a change in Rachel too. Over the last year that they had been together, Rachel blossomed.

Noah looked into her sad brown eyes, searching for the source of her sadness. He would kill whoever brought these feelings to her.

"Noah..." she started. "I have something to tell you. I'm not sure where to start. I'm not even sure what to say, or how to say it."

"Babe, it's me you are talking to. You can tell me anything. You know that. Please, tell me what is hurting you?"

"Well, I …..."

"Rachel, what's wrong?" he tried to encourage her to talk to him.

"Noah, I'm pregnant." Suddenly, he couldn't hear anymore. His ears were on fire with a loud buzzing. He saw her face fall. He saw her tears flow. But he couldn't focus his eyes on her. Did he just hear her correctly? How...how...how. It couldn't be true. She was his everything. How could she be pregnant. They had never even been together. He felt his heart being ripped from his chest.

"Noah, did you hear me?" he saw her mouth say, but could not hear the words. His lungs failed him. His eyes betrayed him as the tears began to fall. It couldn't be true. His Rachel could never have done this to him. Noah's knees gave out and he flopped down onto her couch.

"Noah, are you alright?" she looked terrified. In a moment of weakness, he felt badly for worrying her. However, just as fast, he remembered why he was here, what she had said. Faster than he could control, his anger got the best of him.

"What do you mean you are pregnant? It's not mine. What have you done? I thought you were better than this. Is it Finn's? I'll rip his head off. And you, you! You looked down on Quinn, ratted her out to Finn. You are no better. In fact you're worse. You're worse than Santana. At least she has the decency to be open about the fact that she's sleeping around!" he unleashed on her, all of the ugly thoughts running through his mind.

"Noah, I..."

"Save it, Rachel. There is nothing you can say to fix this! You've broken this, you've broken us" his voice cracked with emotion. He could no longer control his temper.

"Noah, please...let me..."

"I'm done. You are nothing to me anymore" he finished as he turned and stormed out the door.

Rachel cringed as she heard the door slam. She slowly fell to the floor. "no, no, NO" her mind screamed. It wasn't supposed to be this way. She lay there, while her body shook with sobs. She no longer felt the need to stop the tears. It was over. Her love was gone. There was no purpose anymore. She let her eyes close. The darkness was welcome...

To Be Continued...

Author's note: I am overwhelmed by encouragement. I just published today and have been inundated by favorite alerts and story alerts. Thank you so much. This is my first fanfic. I feel so blessed to have been so well received so far... Keep the reviews coming!


	6. Chapter 6

I still don't own Glee...still wish I did!

**Chapter 6**

As soon as the door slammed behind him, Puck felt a slight pain of remorse. Very slight, if her were being honest. He knew that he loved her, but he couldn't believe the extent of her betrayal. He hesitated with his hand on his truck door handle. He recognizes in that moment the fallout of what she has done, but even more so, the magnitude of his leaving her. In a crisis of conscience, he begins to wonder whether or not to go back to her. After all, he loves her still, like no other. After what seems like forever, he shakes his head "screw her", he thinks to himself, "she did this, not me". He opens the door, starts it up, and speeds off.

Rachel lay on the floor feeling as though her heart was ripped out of her chest. The hard wood felt almost comforting to the broken girl. She curled up, closed her eyes and prayed for darkness. Whether it be sleep or death. At that moment she did not care which way it came, but she knew she couldn't deal with this pain.

The quiet ringing of her cell brought her back to the present, although she made no effort to get up to answer. "whoever it is, is not important" she thought glumly. She figured that the caller left a message when the ringing stopped. However, the phone began ringing again.

"Please, please just leave me alone" she cried out to her phone. But the caller was insistent. This went on for more than 20 minutes, then silence. Sweet silence. She closed her eyes and embraced the sleep that finally found her. The welcomed sleep did not last, however. The banging at the door was persistent and loud.

"RACHEL" she'd recognize that voice anywhere "answer the door, it's Quinn. Please, I'm worried about you." The next thing she heard was a voice she was not expecting.

"Rachel, it's Mr. Schue. Please answer the door. Quinn called me, you've got her really nervous right now. Rachel?"

Rachel laid there struggling with the decision on whether or not to get up and let them in and let them see she is alive and "fine", or to just ignore the door and hope they leave. She heard a shriek "Oh my goodness, Mr. Schue, I can see her. She's laying on the floor, something is wrong. We have to get in there"

"Rachel, can you hear me? We are going to try to get in. We'll be right there." Mr. Schue's voice was loud but shaken. The next thing she heard was the tinkle of breaking glass. The floor was leaving her as Mr. Schue's arms gently lifted her. "Rachel, can you hear me? I'm going to lay you on the couch."

She opened her eyes slowly to see the worried faces of the two closest people she had in her life right now, outside of her dads. Quinn grabbed her into a hug.

"You scared me to death. Are you okay? I knew you talked to Puck today, and I've been trying to get a hold of you. When you didn't answer after so long, I just knew something was wrong. I didn't know what though. Since your dads are away, I asked Mr. Schue to come with me. I hope that's alright" Her nervousness made her words come out a very fast speed.

"Rachel, are you okay? Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?" Mr. Schue never looked so scared in all of the time that Rachel had known him. She smiled, ever so slightly.

"I...I'm...I'm okay..." she muttered quietly, showing a small smile at their concern. "No, he didn't hurt me. At least, not that way. He never laid a finger on me. I don't think he could, he lov..."she stopped, and broke down into a fresh batch of tears.

Quinn squeezed her hand, "what happened? Although, I'm sure I can figure it"

"Well" she started slowly "he responded just as I figured he would, but worse. He jumped to the worse conclusion about me. He wouldn't let me explain how I don't remember what happened. That I don't remember anything about that night. He didn't want to hear it."

Quinn's eyes are sympathetic, "oh Rachel, I'm so sorry. I thought, well, thought isn't quite right. I _hoped_ that he would understand, that the way that he feels about you would be enough to want to be there for you, regardless"

"I guess I don't really blame him though. He said...um...he said that I was worse than Santana, because she doesn't hide the fact that she sleeps around." Rachel dropped her face in her hands and sobbed.

Mr. Schue sighed, "Rachel, he's hurting. He's confused. I'm sure he didn't mean it. Anyone who knows you knows that you are not that type of person. We all know how you feel about him."

"That's just it though. I don't know what happened. What IF I am that type of person. Why can't I remember anything. I hate not knowing what I did to him, what I did to myself. I realize I did what I did, but why can I not remember who it was with? I will never drink again. EVER." she took a deep shuddering breath. "Although it's too late. I've ruined everything. In just one night, I've thrown everything I care about away. I don't think I can ever fix this."

"Rach, Puck loves you. He'll come around. I'll talk to him. I'll make him see what happened" Quinn, realized it was a long shot, but she knew she had to try.

"I can try to talk to him as well, Rachel. _But_, we have to give him a little time. I think it's too soon to go to him right now. He'll be too upset." Mr. Schue added. "Just know that the Glee club is your family too. We'll be there for you through all of this. Don't shut us out. We aren't Puck, but we'll do what we can".

With her eyes still shining with tears, she looked up and smiled. "Thank you, Mr. Schue. Thank you, Quinn. I don't deserve this kindness" the others began to argue with that statement, so she quickly added, "but I'll take it. I think this is just the first of many mountains I will have to climb. I appreciate your offer more than you will ever know. Lord knows I'll be needing it. I am okay though... now. You don't have to stay. I'll be fine."

"Don't be silly." Quinn brushed off the dismissal. "How about I make us a cup of hot chocolate?"

"That sounds perfect" Rachel replied with a smile.

"Don't worry about one for me. I'm going to go, and let you two talk. Are you sure you are okay Rachel?" Mr. Schue asked.

"Not completely...yet. But I will be, thanks to you guys" Rachel stood to give Mr. Schue a hug, before he turned to leave. "Thank you so much for checking on me. You really are a wonderful teacher!"

"You are very welcome. Please know that I am here for you if you need someone to talk to. Take care, Rachel. And Quinn, thanks for letting me know what was going on. I'm just glad that I could be here for you both." He turned for the door. "Goodnight, ladies. And Rachel, why don't you stay home tomorrow. Give yourself a day to get yourself ready to be back around everyone."

"Thanks, Mr. Schue, but no. I'll be there. There's nothing I'll do here, except think and worry. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight!"

She turned to sit on the couch. "Quinn, I can't thank you enough for coming tonight. It means more than you will ever know."

"I do know. Remember what happened after Finn found out? I wish that you and I were close then. I think you would have been a great help to me too! But, I think, you are going to need all the friends you can get right now. Puck has a bad temper. I'm not sure how long it might be for him to get past this."

"I know, and that's what really worries me. I never wanted to go through this at this stage in my life. At the very least, I thought that if I were going to go through it, I'd be going through it with Noah".

"I know what you mean. I really thought that Finn and I would always be together. Never a problem. Life happened. I am so much more happy with Sam though. But I really thought that it would always be Finn."

"I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. As much as I'd rather be anywhere than here with my thoughts, I'm not looking forward to facing him at school." Rachel realized just how bad school will be. She had come a long way in the hierarchy at the school while dating Noah. All of that will surely change, and that didn't bother her quite as much as seeing him there. She had no idea what to expect of him. Would he outright ignore her? Would he yell? Would he treat her like trash? She didn't know, and for a fleeting moment, she thought she might not be ready to find out.

To Be Continued...

Author's Note: I want to apologize for taking so long to post this chapter. I had a lot of family health issues, including a heart attack for my Granddad and a 1 week stint in the ICU for my mom with DKA and a mild heart attack. They are both doing much better, though. AND the holidays are over, so my somewhat normal routine can commence! Thank goodness!

I truly hope that you all had a wonderful holiday season!


	7. Chapter 7

Glee: (n) a fantastic television show, owned by Ryan Murphy...not by me :(

**Chapter 7**

She stood at her car, looking at the school wondering whether she could go in. Did she have the strength to do it? No, she decided, she did not. Turning to open her door, she stopped when she heard her name, "Rachel" Quinn called out to her, adding softly "are you ready to do this? You aren't alone, remember that. I'm right here with you. It'll be alright".

Rachel looked at her friend, took a deep breath and said "okay, it's now or never, let's go in". She walked up the stairs and went straight to her locker, ducking her head, in hopes that she wouldn't see him or perhaps the other way around. The day went by with just a few moments of nausea, but it wasn't so bad. She began to feel a little hopeful in that maybe, just maybe, Noah wasn't there. However, she spotted his all too familiar mohawk when she walked into the choir room. He didn't even look her way. And as much as she didn't want a confrontation with him, she realized just how much it hurt to be ignored. Her heart ached with longing to be back in his arms, to be comforted by the one person who was always able to bring a smile to her face. Right now, though, he was the one person who was hurting her the most.

She realized that she probably deserved it. She was pregnant, by... someone. That fact was still so hard for her to grasp. But whoever that someone is, it wasn't Noah, and for that, she knew his hurt and anger was justified. It didn't stop the pain in her heart, though. Just a glance, just one, it would make a difference. Nothing. She would almost prefer the angry words to this cold silence.

"Mercedes, do you notice something a little off about our little Miss Diva over there?" Kurt leaned in to not-so-quietly whisper. Rachel winced in response. She didn't want the status of her relationship to be a a topic of conversation. Not like this, not for this reason. She wouldn't mind, of course, if things were going well, but she knew that wouldn't happen again.

"I did. I saw it throughout the day, Prince Charming seems to be over his feelings towards our resident Princess." Mercedes responded with a smirk. Her particular comment ripped a hole in Rachel's heart. To feel it was one thing, but for others to notice that Noah no longer loved her put it on a whole different level. She felt the tears stinging at her eyes, and blinked furiously. She refused to let them see her cry. Quinn looked over and saw her red eyes, and knew that she had heard them. 

"I'm sorry, but when did Rachel's love life even become a blip on your radar of things worth talking about? Last time I checked the two of you had moved on to more important things to discuss, such as your relationship with Blaine, or yours with Azimio. No one thought it necessary to point out when things weren't going so well with Matt, Mercedes, and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have like it one bit. So how about a little respect here. Back off."

Mercedes opened her mouth to respond, but stopped short when Rachel ran out of the room. "I'm sorry, Quinn. I didn't know it was all that bad. I thought she was riding a little high on her diva horse, and Puck was trying to put her in her place."

"Well, next time, maybe you'll have a little more heart, and think before you open your mouth." With that, she followed Rachel out of the room. It didn't take her long to find her crying in the bathroom. "How well I know this room, and those tears. Come on, Rachel. Let's get you cleaned up and I'll drive you home. Before you even argue, you can leave your car for the night. I'll bring you in in the morning."

"Quinn, I don't think I can do this again. He didn't even look at me. He wouldn't even spare a glance in my direction. Maybe I can just stay home."

"Rach, you know that's not the answer. You are so much stronger than that. You don't hide from anything. You face it, head on. I know that this is scary, and I know it hurts, but you can do this. How about you stay at my house tonight. We can watch a movie, or not. We can talk if you want to or not if you don't. Whatever you need, that's what we'll do."

"I don't know. My dad's aren't real thrilled with me staying out on a school night."

"Don't worry, I'll figure out a reason that you just have to spend the night. It'll be fine."

"Okay. And Quinn...thanks. For everything."

…...

The next few days passed just like the day before. Silence and hurt. She knew that things could be much worse, but that didn't help. She also knew that she had another worry she needed to focus on... telling her dads. Rachel decided that the best time would be the weekend, Friday, in particular, just in case they didn't take it so well. She had no idea just what their reaction might be. They were great parents, and they've always been supportive, but this is so far from the dreams they had for her. How would they react to their dreams, her dreams, being thrown away. She pretty much had the night planned out. Dinner and dinner conversation. She would also have a bad packed, just in case. As she looked in her closet, picking out what would be the most "required" clothing, she felt that all too familiar lump in her throat. Just how much would she lose in keeping her baby?

A quick glance at the clock told her that her dads would be home in 10 minutes. She began setting the table, and noticed just how much her hands were shaking. She was terrified of their reaction. A car door closes, and she takes a deep breath to steady her nerves. "Here we go" she says to herself. "Hi daddy, how was your day? How was work? I've got dinner ready. Dad should be home in a few minutes, so you have time to get cleaned up!"

"Rachel, calm down. You are rattling a mile a minute. My day was fine, work was work. I'm starving, so I'm going to come all of the way in the door, hang my coat up and sit down at the table." He said with a smile and a shake of his head. "You look like you are about to jump out of your skin". Leroy leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"Dad's home!" Rachel called out to her daddy. "Are you ready yet?"

"Honestly, Rachel." Leroy was exasperated "calm down. You're making me nervous."

"Oh, hey Quinn" she greeted her friend as she walked in with her dad "I'm glad you could make it! We're having lasagna!"

Sitting down at the table, Rachel's stomach was full of butterflies. She didn't think that she would be able to eat. She breathed slowly and deeply, trying to calm herself down. Quinn looked at her, and smiled. She knew the fear that her friend was suffering through, but she also knew how strong this petite brunette was. She was confident that she would be fine. She saw her take a deep breath, and knew it was time.

"Dad, Daddy, I've got something I need to talk to you about. I. Well, I" not for the first time, Rachel struggled to find the words. "I'm pregnant" she blurted.


	8. Chapter 8

Glee is Ryan Murphy's baby, not mine...But I do find it awfully cuddly...

**Chapter 8**

"You're what?" Her dad asked, shocked.

Rachel could no longer look at him. With her eyes focused on her plate, she repeated "pregnant". A tear escaped her eye. She knew it would be hard to tell them, but seeing their faces broke her heart. "I know that you are disappointed. I am too! I can't tell you just how much I..."

"Stop" Leroy interrupted. "Just stop. How did this happen? I thought we always talked to you about everything. I thought we were always open and honest about things. How could you have let this happen?" His voice grew louder until he was almost yelling.

Hiram looked at his daughter. His beautiful, talented, intelligent daughter. For a moment, she was a stranger to him. This was not the little girl he raised. His daughter was a singer, a dancer, a star. His daughter was not a statistic. Pregnant at 17? Not his Rachel. He tried to detach his emotions from this stranger at his table.

Quinn felt the hurt, the disappointment, the anger. It was as if she again was the cause. It reached through to her heart. She stood and rounded the table and placed her hand on Rachel's shoulder. That small sign of comfort was enough to open the floodgates. Rachel's tears fell in a near steady stream.

Those tears. Those tears are my daughter's tears. They are her brown eyes now red with hurt. "What am I doing?" Hiram thought to himself. "Quinn, would you please go get a glass of water for Rachel." He reached for Rachel's hand. "Leroy, let her speak".

Rachel looked at her dad. His eyes reflected his concern and questions, but more than that, they showed his love. That was enough to get her to start again. "As I was saying, I really am so sorry. I don't know how this happened.

"Rachel, please. If I am going to sit and listen to this, the least you can do is be an adult. Take responsibility for what you've done." Leroy discovered that the childish way of attempting to get sympathy was not only not going to work, but actually really frustrated him. He didn't know how long he could sit and listen to it.

"Daddy, I am being an adult."

"Have you already told Noah?" Hiram tried to avoid an outright argument. His question did not have the reaction he was expecting. She began openly sobbing. "Please don't tell me he broke up with you because of his bad choices."

She tried to compose herself. "No, dad, it's not like that."

"So, he didn't break up with you?"

"Yes, he did. But not for the reason you think. Noah, he's a great guy."

Quinn came back in the room, and gave Rachel her water. "Here, sweetie. If I may, Puck, er, Noah really is a good guy. When I got pregnant, he did everything he could to prove that he could be a good dad. He didn't have his dad, so he was determined to be the dad he never had. It was my choice to give Beth up for adoption. He wasn't happy about it, in fact, he was really hurt, but he respected my decision."

"Then why would..." Hiram's face fell with shock the realization of what happened. "It's not his." There was no question in his voice.

Rachel dropped her head into her hands. "No, it isn't" she whispered through her tears.

"Then who's?"

"I.." she hesitated, "I don't know. I know that I am a little over three months along. I also know it happened at Brittany's party. That's all I know."

"You mean it could belong to anyone?" Leroy was outraged. "Do you remember anything?"

"I only remember having a few drinks and waking up the next day at home."

"So, someone took advantage of you. I'll kill him." Leroy's disappointment was replaced with sympathy for his daughter and anger towards this unknown boy. This boy stole his daughter's youth and innocence. He was shaking with emotions as he took her into a crushing hug. "I'm so sorry sweetie. We'll figure this out. I love you, and your dad and I will be here with you and for you through all of this."

Rachel fell into his hug. The full weight of her situation suddenly seemed a little lighted. "I love you, daddy".


	9. Chapter 9

One day, Puck shall be mine...until then, he belongs solely to Ryan Murphy.

**Chapter 9**

School was easier in the fact that she was past her morning sickness. It still killed her to walk through the doors without Noah. Everyday, she felt her heart break a little more. She longed for him to hold her. She fantasized about him not only being the father to her unborn child, but going to all of her appointments with her; being excited to hear the heartbeat. She reminded herself that it would never happen. She somehow threw away any chance of that dream the moment she realized she had cheated, and that the baby she carried belong to someone else.

Quinn had really been her rock. Aside from answering her questions about the pregnancy, she really had stepped up as a friend, making sure that no one treated her badly. Rachel knew it was a huge step down the social ladder for her to be there for her like that, and she appreciated her more everyday.

"Rachel, sweetie, I think it's time"

"Huh, time for what?"

"Rach, honey, you are starting to show. People are starting to talk. I think it's time you broke the news to the Glee Club."

"I don't know. I'm not ready. I don't think I can. Puck will be there. He hasn't even looked at me since I told him six weeks ago. Gah, has it been six weeks already? Quinn, I can't. How do I tell all these people that I'm pregnant? Especially since one of them is the father. Which one, I don't know, but one of them is."

"Rachel, this may be your chance to narrow it down. You know, based on a reaction."

"I guess... maybe I'll just do it today. Get it over and done with."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Mr. Schue, can I talk to the class before we get started?"

"Sure, Rachel. The floor is yours." 

"Well, I'm aware that there has been some talk. I want to set the record straight." Just breathe, she told herself. "Yes, I am pregnant." She was greeted by a collective intake of breath. She searched their eyes. There was no sign of anyone realizing they may be the father. One by one, the eyes turned to Puck.

"At it again, huh Puck? You're getting really good at this daddy thing. Ha! You're even better at the love 'em and leave 'em."

"Shut it, Santana. You have no idea what you are talking about." Puck's eyes were a mix of hurt and anger. He grabbed his bad and started towards the door.

"Please don't. This isn't what you think. Noah didn't break up with me because I am pregnant." Puck stopped with his hand on the door. As much as it hurt, he needed to hear her voice. "We've broken up because the baby is...not his".

The only sound was the door closing behind him. She turned and saw him leave, and once again, her heart was broken. It hurt to see him walk away. It hurt more to know that she was the reason he left.

"Mr. Schue, would it be alright if I left early? I just need to get out of here."

"Sure, Rachel. If you need to talk, I'm always here. Guys, I think maybe we'll just call it a day. Please remember, Rachel is a part of our group. I know we've had issues in the past, but, I'm asking you to look out for her. Be supportive. This is a very difficult time for her, and I want you to be there for her, just like you were for Quinn."

"Don't worry, Mr. Schue. Rachel is one of us. We are family. We'll take of her." replied Mercedes, among the overwhelming agreement of the rest of the club.

Quinn smiled at her, "thanks".

"Don't thank me. I realized before that if you can be friends with her, she can't be all that bad. She may have had her diva moments, but I guess we all have."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Puck didn't know where he was going, he just knew that he needed out of that choir room. "Screw them" he said as he punched a locker. How could they possibly think he'd leave her if the baby was his. Did they not remember his attempts to be a dad to Beth? He never loved Quinn, but he would have done anything to be a dad to his daughter. Even if it meant being with her mother.

His chest ached. He knew that he was still very much in love with Rachel. It hurt to be away from her. He stole glances at her throughout the day. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms and breathe in the smell of her hair. He longed to kiss her lips. The pain of that longing overwhelmed him. He found himself walking towards the auditorium.


	10. Chapter 10

I still don't own it, it still makes me sad... :p

**Chapter 10**

She sat at the one constant in her life, the piano. For her, it was the one thing that brought her the joy of creativity and healing when she was sad. She hit a few keys and her mind went back. The song was her audition, but how well it summed up her life right now...

_On my own_

_pretending he's beside me._

_All alone_

_I walk with him til morning._

_Without him, _

_I feels his arms around me_

_When I lose my way_

_I close my eyes_

_And he has found me..._

He heard her voice. That voice was like an angel. He couldn't move, his feet anchored where he stood.

_In the rain_

_the pavement shines like silver._

_All the lights_

_are misty in the river._

_In the darkness_

_the trees are full of starlight._

_And all I see_

_is him and me_

_forever and forever._

Listening to the words, he felt his resolve melting. No, he couldn't. She hurt him too much. But, he could hear that he was not the only one hurting.

_And I know_

_it's only in my mind._

_That I'm talking to myself_

_and not to him._

_And although_

_I know that he is blind,_

_still I say_

_there's a way for us._

Was there a way? He wondered if it were possible. He saw from the distance her eyes. He found himself losing this battle.

_I love him_

_but when the night is over,_

_he is gone,_

_the river's just a river._

_Without him,_

_the world around me changes_

_the trees are bare_

_and everywhere_

_the streets are full of strangers._

_I love him_

_but everyday_

_I'm learning._

_All my life_

_I've only been pretending..._

No, it's was real, he knew that. What they had was real. How did they end up here? Why did all of this happen?

_Without me_

_his world will go on turning_

_A world that's full of happiness_

_that I have never known._

_I love him_

_I love him_

_I love him_

_But only on my...own_

He couldn't stand there any longer. He opened the door and walked as fast as he could...

"Rachel..." 

She stiffened with surprise. How many weeks had she been waiting to hear his voice, speaking her name. She hesitated before turning, terrified at what he may say.

"You aren't alone. I love listening to you sing, and while the song is great and all, it's isn't true. My world crashed when I walked away."

"Noah. I didn't know you were listening." she wanted so much to look into his hazel eyes. "I am so sorry, I don't know how to make this right."

"Rach, I love you. And I know that this whole situation sucks, it doesn't change the fact that you are everything to me. I am nothing without you. I'm sorry too. I must have made you feel like hell. It wasn't right." 

"Noah, I hurt you. I deserved your anger, I deserved to have you walk away... even though it hurt so much. I knew you were right in leaving."

"No, Rachel. It wasn't right. I didn't for a minute let you talk. I didn't let you explain. I hope you aren't mad, but Quinn told me what happened. I am..." he paused while looking for the right words, "so angry, for what has happened to you, what happened to us. Please, I can't do this anymore. I need to make this right, I need to be with you."

"It is I, who should be crying to make this right. Not you. But, I agree with your feelings. I'm so lost without you. Can we start over again?"

"I'd like that." he smiled a playful smile. "Hello, my name is Noah. I couldn't help but notice just how beautiful you are. I also noticed that you were sitting here alone. Mind if I join you?" 

"Hello, Noah. I'm Rachel, and I'd love nothing more than for you to join me..."

She rested her head on his shoulder, breathed him in. "Rachel" he whispered.

"hmmm?"

"I love you"

"Noah, I love you more than you can ever know." He leaned down to place a gentle kiss on her mouth. She knew that she would sleep better tonight than she had in a long time. Her Noah was back.


End file.
